We give money power

Money is a way to standardize value. 

I used to work in a store that sold collectibles.  People would come and inquire about the value of their pieces.  Many of them assumed their collectibles had increased in value, believing their possessions to have doubled, or even tripled over the years.  While I could reassure them that if the right buyer was interested, then yes, their piece may have substantially risen in value, but the downfall was finding the right buyer. 

Things are only worth what a purchaser will pay.  To you it may be a priceless work of art; if no one is willing to buy it it is worth nothing.  The word 'worth' implies the exchange of something equally as valuable.  That is the role of money.  We all know what we can buy for a dollar.  It's consistent, reliable.  Prices rise and prices fall, but we all know just how much we would, personally, trade for a dollar. 

Money is only worth what you believe it's worth. 


The more you need or want something, the higher it's value in your mind.  The higher it's value in your mind the more you'd be willing to pay for it.  We give power to the exchange of value for money.  We choose to spend our money on things we think will improve our lives.  Therein lies the trick.  What you believe will improve your life is not what I believe will improve mine.  Therefore the value of something you own may not be the same for me.  Opposite to that if you have something that everyone believes will improve their lives the value of that thing will increase, as you will have people willing to pay more money for it than the next guy.

This is economy.  There many things in our world that prove more valuable than others.  It is our desire for those things that drive value, and in turn drive the exchange of money for value.  It is our greed that fuels our desire and our habit of consuming for the sake of having.  This is the world we are told is real.  We grow up trusting the value of money.  It is this trust that we measure our own standing in the world.  According to what we know about our community/peers we judge if we are better off, or broke.  

We buy in to the power of money.

We drive this money game.  Money alone is worthless.  Scraps of precious metals and bits of printed paper are truly nothing.  If we all agreed that noodles were the new currency money would cease to matter.  In fact, if that happened, money would lose all of it's perceived value because it is us that give it that value.  We would then give value to noodles, and noodles would then have power.   It's our acceptance of money that makes it useful.  We give it power through our motives to improve our lives.  Unfortunately, money seems to be the only accepted way of exchanging valuable things.

Money is a way for us to agree on a standardization process.  Money is not necessarily a way to agree on value, although that is the by-product of our exchanges.  Money is a way to get us to standardize our exchanges.  It's the exchanges that are important.  However, today, noo money, no exhange, unless you have something else equally as valuable to the other party. 

This proves that money doesn't matter.  We believe that it does because we accept the lie that money is important, when the truth is it's only important because we believe it's important.  We are caught in a circle of using money, which in turn fuels the belief that we need it.  We don't.  But we continue to believe that we do, and so, it turns out that we do need money; that it is truly important.

We will only ever be free from money by severing that connection, that reliance, on it.      

Everything in time

Time and dedication.  
                  Time and dedication.  
                                    Time and dedication.  

That is what it'll take for me to reach my goals.  

I am struggling with both.

I have to accept that this is going to be a journey. 
I have to accept that this is going to take time.
I have to accept that this is going to take dedication.
I have to accept that everything happens for a reason and everything happens in it's own time.  


It's own time.

I have to accept that life comes a day at a time. 
I have to accept that I cannot complete my dreams in a day.
I have to accept that I cannot rush life.
I have to accept that hard work is an integral part of happiness and satisfaction.


Time and dedication.  
                  Time and dedication.  
                                    Time and dedication.  

That is what it'll take for me to reach my goals.

Helpful Tip #1

I already mentioned that every little bit helps.
I just discovered my first original Helpful Tip. 
Eat your leftovers.

How many times have I bought dinner thinking, "I'll have some for tomorrow!"

And then the morsels sit there, uneaten, in the fridge, left over and turning hard and dry.  

This is a waste!  There are precious dollars sitting molding in fridges all over North America!

Mine included.

The trick to eating leftovers is eating them right away.  Leftovers left for too long become suspicious to us.  We can't help ourselves.  It's a whisper of our survival instinct.  Don't eat bad food.  You could die.  We pay attention to this fact as we sniff and poke at the contents of the various containers in the back of the fridge.  

That's why it's important to eat leftovers right away!  As the next meal is ideal because you are confident that the food is still fresh and hasn't had a chance to dry out yet.  If leftovers as the next meal doesn't appeal to you, try at least to eat them at the next meal.   This allows you to remain confident as to the quality of the food without eating the same thing too many times in a row.

Finishing up leftovers can be a great way to feed yourself while still watching your pennies.  Eat leftovers as soon as possible!  Don't let that money sit and go bad in your fridge.  Choose foods that can be easily kept or made into many meals.  This keeps your body full while utilizing the full potential of each meal.  

Every Day Counts

Our lives are made up of days, each one the same length as the last, each one just as important and full of promise, each one an opportunity to make good decisions.  

Our debt is made up of dollars, each one the same value as the last, each one just as important and full of promise, each one an opportunity to make good decisions.  

Am I making good decisions with my money?  The answer is clearly, "obviously not."  But what I've done in the past is not what I'm going to be doing in the future.  Everyday is an opportunity to make better decisions; with life, finances and relationships.  My habits when I was young matured as I did and became the habits of my future.  I can see the habits that I've been creating and cultivating.  My habit of spending money comes from the desire to lead an interesting life.  My old habit of spending is somewhat frivolous and I simply can't afford it anymore. 

There is emotion attached to money, spending and debt.  Everyday we are faced with thousands of ways to spend our money.  We are a consumer society and we've created whole industries dedicated to coming up with powerful ways to make us vote for our favourite products and services with our dollars.  There is always something we think we want, always something we think we need, and always something to entertain us if we get bored.  That's part of the problem; we always seem to be bored, in need, or wanting.  I've found that the new perspective being broke has given me is that I don't have to give in to the daily distractions designed to draw the dollars out of my wallet.  I am developing new habits involving money.  I am spending less on more, choosing value over quantity and making an effort to decide wants vs. needs.


I've found that every day is a chance to change my habits and through them, my future.  Every day is an opportunity for one more dinner out, or one more dollar in the bank.  Every day has it's challenges that must be overcome, but with a clear head and attainable goals in mind the days can be met with the right attitude and dedication to get me where I need to be.  Where I want to be.  


This day is the only day I have to make decisions about my finances.  Today is the only day I can work on, because yesterday is over and the decisions I made then, either good or bad, cannot be changed.  Tomorrow creates it's own mystery.  I can only plan and hope that things will go well and although my decisions impact and influence the success of tomorrow I truly have no power to do anything with it.

Today is the only day I can be good with my money and whether or not I choose to is a choice that I can control.  I do not regret my spending decision in the past and I have no desire to regret spending decisions I'll make in the future.   This desire helps me stay on track every day, one day at a time.  

What I've done with yesterday has allowed me to come into today.  I must make this day count; make that dollar count.  I am working towards financial sustainability.  I know I can get there, I just need to make every day count.  Because every day does.

 

I'm not cheap, I'm broke.

A friend of mine called me cheap today.  It hurt my feelings and made me mad.  I'm not cheap, I'm broke.  And the worst part was, she knew I was broke.  I talked to her about it the same day I realized I was broke.  She knew that it was because of my old lifestyle and she knew that I was changing my habits to get myself out of debt.  I had already told her that I couldn't do anything fun for the next three years and when I declined an invitation to go out for dinner not even a month later she said it was because I was cheap. 

I realized that my being broke was going to look like being cheap to some people.  I realized that my desire to get out of debt was going to take a long time and my friends weren't going to easily accept the fact that I truly must decline for financial purposes.  I realized that even though most people are broke, they usually don't recognize it as a fact and therefore hold on to their bad spending habits.  This same friend was in worse financial shape than I was, but accepted the dinner invitation anyway.  The difference is I recognized that I truly can't afford it.  She and millions of other people look at their credit card statements every month and think, "Oops, I overspent."  This line of thinking is dangerous and counterproductive for good spending habits.  

I can almost hear them now... What's one dinner out?  What's one more DVD?  What's one more computer game?  What's one more pair of shoes?  Nothing.  The answer is, nothing is wrong with one more dinner out.  It's when you do dinner and buy that one more DVD and that one more game AND that one more pair of shoes is when you have the problem.  Most people cannot comprehend that one more dinner out is never ONE more dinner out.  It's one dinner today ($20), and then one extra coffee tomorrow ($5), and then one pair of shoes ($60) on the weekend, and drinks ($50) out with friends that same evening and then you buy that one extra game anyway. ($60)  After your ONE more dinner out, you've gone and spent $175 on top of your one dinner out.  That's nearly $200.  That is where the idea of one dinner out becomes one helluva bad spending habit.  Everything is only ever ONE more! 

That's how I got in this mess in the first place. 

I would tell myself "It's only one trip.  I can afford one trip."  Yes.  It was true.  But that trip cost $1,270 and then add excursions ($250) and shopping ($350) and the food bought at the airport ($30) and parking for the week ($110) and the one trip that I thought I could afford ends up costing over $2,000.  And then I come home and people want to go for one dinner out.  It's hard to say, "I just came back from vacation.  I can't afford it.  And I won't be able to afford it the week after, or the week after, or the week after." 

Let's put it in perspective.  Travelling once is like eating out 100 times.  I have to say no to 'one more dinner out' 100 times to make up what I spent on vacation.  That's how it works.  I can't do both.  I can't afford it.  I'm not cheap, I'm broke.  There is a difference.  I've declined one dinner out and have 99 more to go.  And that only counteracts my first trip.  I've got 8 in total to make up for.

 

Trimming the Fat

I assumed my debt wasn't out of control because I had a very extensive budget.  But a very extensive budget didn't ensure my financial stability.  The mere act of having a budget wasn't enough to keep my spending habits align with my limits and goals according to my very extensive budget.  Going broke forced me to take a hard look at my own bottom line. 

We've all heard the term.  Trimming the Fat.  A metaphor to show the act of maximizing and utlizing cash flow.  According to my budget I had already trimmed my fat.  I felt fully secure in believing that I was making the most out of every penny that was coming through my bank account.  I had assumed that there was simply no way I could reduce my monthly spending by another cent!   

However, going broke and accepting help made me re-prioritize my finances.  I set easier, more specific goals.  Achievable goals.  Goals I could control and keep an eye on.  I knew that my savings and emergency fund were virtually decimated and if I was truly going to be prepared for my future, and the surprises synchronous with life, I had to find extra money in creative places for those days that I would need extra cash on hand.

Who can honestly say they have extra cash on hand?  Extra cash on hand.  Not many, I assure you.  Those lucky few who do end up with extra cash on hand are rare, and boring, I'm sure.  It takes money to live a life!  It takes money to try new things!  It takes money to pursue most hobbies!  Those with extra cash simply aren't doing enough living.  But because of my living habits I found that since I had NO extra cash on hand, I was in danger of using my credit should something unfortunate happen.  

That's not even fair.  It doesn't take something unfortunate to happen to be in need of a few extra $20's.  Life is full of ways to make us spend our dollars.  And life is also full of surprises.  For those surprises I knew I'd need to start saving every nickle I could to reduce the amount of credit I would have to use, since credit is what got me in this predicament in the first place!  

So I did it.  Through newly rationalized priorities I managed to squeeze honey from a stone.  I found extra fat on my budget and shaved off some extra cash each pay cheque.  I learnt that every dollar counts, and that if I don't have to spend one, I won't.  One day I'll be able to save towards more luxurious spending, but for the time being a dollar saved is one more in my pocket.  I have the comfort of knowing that in an emergency, albeit, a small emergency, I will not have to pull out my credit to save myself from an unforeseen expense.

Accepting Help

When I went broke I broke down.  I didn't know how I was going to live, let alone how I was going to tell people about my problem.  Since I've always considered myself a good 'not-spender' I often ducked out of dinners, or drinks with friends because I knew I couldn't afford to eat out all the time.  Going broke meant I was facing a situation that didn't allow me to go out for drinks or dinner ever.  Or at least not for a long time.  

It bothered me to have to tell my friends "no" should they ask me to do something fun.  I didn't want to have to explain to them all that I couldn't afford it, that I was broke.  Being broke was embarassing and I rather wished I didn't have to talk about it over and over again.  However, I knew I couldn't stop them from asking, so I ended up putting an announcement on my facebook page stating that I was broke, and so please refrain from asking me to do anything that cost money.  I had nothing to spare.  I had nothing to give.  

It pained me to write it, but I'm glad I did.  People were so supportive, offering suggestions and relieving some of the pressure.  They were really helpful and told me not to worry, that it happened to everyone.  But I couldn't help but be angry at the fact that it hadn't happened to just anyone, it happened to me.  

Once word got out my closest friends offered to help me.  Some by offering to help make me more accountable for my cash flow and some by offering to buy me things.  It embarassed me to have my friends offer to buy me dinner, or drinks, or dog food.  I felt that I had gotten myself into this mess that I should be forced to get myself out of it.  But they insisted.  And I let them.  

Still, it was hard to be at the end of a meal and awkwardly sit and wait for them to pay.  I didn't want to seem like I thought I was entitled to a free meal, or free support from them.  I wanted at least to be able to pretend that I could pitch in.  But the truth was I couldn't even pretend anymore.  I had nothing.  

One especially good friend of mine offered to take me grocery shopping to help me load up on food for home to hold me for a while.  At first I had to decline.  That was too much.  Thank you, I appreciate the offer, but I couldn't accept.  By this time, I had grown used to feeding myself on a sparse budget and had decided in my head that I would be just fine without help.

She insisted.

I couldn't resist.  I was on the phone with her and she was saying that I didn't need to pay her back, that it would be a gift, and that she knew I'd do the same for her if she was the one who needed it.  Her offer was so generous that I couldn't help but realize the gravity of my situation.  I couldn't survive with no food, and when she was speaking and calling it a gift, I couldn't help myself.  I chocked up, my throat closed, my breath stopped coming and I started to cry.  She was being so generous, and I couldn't even afford the phone call it was coming in on.  I needed her, I needed her help.  I had to face the fact that I couldn't do this alone.  That I shouldn't do this alone.  I had to break down the blocks of my pride and accept her help with a gracious "Thank you.  I need it."  How silly it is that the phrase "I need help" is one of the hardest to say. 

She came over, bought me dinner and took me shopping.  We walked every inch of that grocery store and she bought me things that I could never before afford.  She didn't care what the price tag was, all she cared about was that I had enough food to get by.  

All she cared about was me.  

I had to learn to let myself go.  I had to learn to open up and accept the help being offered me.  I had to learn to let go and allow her generosity to support me when I couldn't support myself. 

She took my breath away saying, "you'll like this, grab 4" and, "you can live off of these, take a couple" and "what else do you need?"  Our final tab was more money than I've ever spent on food ever.  She was laughing at me, watching my face.  I kept watching the cashier scan item after item and the total rose and rose and climbed to petrifying heights!  

"Relax!"  She told me.  "It's ok.  Don't think of it."  

Don't think of it!?  I was in shock.  There was no way I could ever purchase that many groceries!  I could feel myself going over my budget trying to find money to put towards this shopping trip.  I watched in disbelief as she handed over her payment and I walked like a zombie as we left the store with our loot.  When we got it home and put away I realized that she had done so much for me with what she considered to be 'nothing.'  I couldn't help but thank her and thank her for her gift.  

When she left I had to sit and get over myself.  If I was them and I wanted to help me I'd want me to simply be gracious and accept the gifts as gifts.  We are all here to help each other through this life, the lesson to learn is to accept that help when it's needed to be able to someday give the help when needed by somebody else.  

It is my time to focus on me.  It is my time to accept the generosity of my friends and those who care about me.  It is my time to replenish so I may one day be able to give back to them. 

After the Fact

After everything had hit me like a 3-ton truck, I began to feel better.  Call it life, call it time, but it truly does heal.  After that first day, and the second, and the third, I realized that I was still me, and that I had the support of all my friends and family.  My friends especially were incredibly supportive, some offered me alternative ways of having fun on the cheap, some showed their support by telling me their own stories of debt and being broke and one in particular even rallied behind me to support me with food for a month!  I realized that I was not alone with this monster. That I wasn't going to live in a shadow forever.  I realized I could still laugh, I could still have fun, I could still live and I still had my friends.  

I was more annoyed by the fact that three years would seem like FOREVER!!!  Each day goes by so quickly, and yet somehow 1,068 of them seems endless!  How will I ever be able to reach my goals when they are so far away!?  But each morning that went by I realized that I could get creative with my means of saving money.  (and by saving money, I mean not spending money.)

I began taking my meals to work.  Breakfast and lunch.  I knew I couldn't afford to spend even $1 on food so I started taking my lunch to work like I used to do in grade school.  At first I found it hard to break the habit.  Used to buying a coffee every morning, purchasing a bowl of fruit or eggs and bacon at breakfast and again at lunch spending money on a sandwich is convenient and easy.  But after my first day of successfully avoiding the cafeteria I began to see how habits end up costing way more than you'd think and that I was on the right track to breaking some of those bad habits I used to have.

The thing with habits is that you don't always realize how they affect you.  There are always excuses.  50 cents won't matter.  A dollar won't make a difference.  Two dollars?  What's that in the long run?  What we forget is that habits are formed over time, and so is debt.  And debt, I am realizing now, is a habit.  I am habitually in debt.  Those pennies do add up.  That change in the bottom of your car is real; it's money, and most of us treat it like garbage.  With that mentality towards money, it's no wonder so many of us are in debt. 


I've come to realize that money is like shit.  You have a lot, or you have a little, but everyone's got some.  Even me.  Even now.  It's not a lot, but it'll do.

Realizing You're Broke

When I finally realized...

"I'm broke..."

My heart sank straight down to the bottom of my boots.  My body went stiff and I felt as if the wind had been suddenly pressed out of me.  I couldn't move, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't believe what I was seeing!  The only thing I could think of was...


"How could this happen?
How Could This Happen?

HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN?"

My credit card statement was twice what I thought it was, and twice what I had been budgeting for.  At first, I tucked the statement away and tried to put it out of my mind, but for two hours the next afternoon I combed through my budget, through every purchase, through every expense, through every bill and every necessity and the only thing that I could come up with is...


"Yup, I'm broke."  


In fact, during my vain attempt of sorting out my finance I happened to stumble upon the remaining balance of my Student Loan, which, I am sorry to say, ended up putting me another three years before my desire to be debt free was fully realized.  So not only was I broke, i was extremely broke.  I was devastated.  I nearly broke out in tears.  No matter what I tried, no matter how many times I moved the numbers around I always came down to the same conclusion.


I
Am
Broke.


I wasn't terribly surprised.  I wasn't shocked.  I had always known that my "travel now, pay later" theory would catch up with me and at that moment I knew that it had.  I sat and really thought about what I needed to do to get back on track for my future.  I pictured scenario after scenario of the things I needed to do, or not do, to help me first get out of debt, then to build me a cache of cash to allow for savings, an emergency fund, one months rent and enough to allow me to travel on cash.  


I had to swallow the bitter reality that I would be 30 before my entire financial goal would be complete.  That was over three years away.  It seemed to me that everything I loved would be denied me for three years.  I could no longer afford to travel, I could no longer afford my motorcycle insurance, I could no longer afford to go for drinks, or purchase more clothes for my already sparse wardrobe.  I could no longer afford to eat out or even to waste gas.  I could barely afford to live.  


Driving home was excruciating.  The severity of my life had a chance to sink in and depress me down through my faith and down through my hope and straight down to the only place were despair lives.  I blinked back tears as the anger I felt threatened to rise up and spill down my face.  I was in such a suffocating situation.  It was the beginning of a new year, a special year, THE most important year in the history of people (2012) and I was broke1  It appeared to me that the next few months, and possibly years, were going to be lonely, boring and dull.  My future was grey.  


Once inside I crawled under my covers and I closed my eyes and let my tears come.  I had to face the facts.  I had to face the truth, that old, ugly bitch, that I spent myself into a coma. 

Being Broke vs Being Poor

Going broke happened to me slowly.  My debt crept up to me on broken legs, pretending to be harmless until one day, very recently, I got one of my credit card statement.  My debt was not harmless after all.  I found out the hard way that what I thought was 'manageable' was really 'crippling.'  I looked at my statement and I nearly had a stroke.  It was twice the amount I thought it was.  

I've always been pretty good with my money.  I was taught to give some, save some and spend some, and I've always more-or-less lived by that rule.  I give to charity, I believe in an emergency fund and try not to spend if I don't have to.  I have a career and a car, but no mortgage or kids.  I have a budget and an extensive spreadsheet to help me track my spending.  I do not eat out, buy useless junk or shop unless I need to.  I've consolidated once, negotiated lower interest rates and have always thought...

"I've got this under control."

My problem is that I have one damn expensive hobby.  I live and love to travel.  I've been to Mexico twice, the Dominican Republic, Florida, Bahamas, Cuba, Costa Rica, L.A. and most recently Vegas.  But I've always found amazing deals and have discovered different ways of 'traveling frugally' (if there is such a thing)

By this measure, one cannot say that I am 'poor.'  I live in a house, I have food in my belly, I am warm and I drive to work.  I am not under the poverty line, am young, have a promising career and have investments in many diverse locations.  But to my immediate despair I am here at the beginning of a new and exciting year...dead...broke.

I have 4 credit cards, all maxed out, bi-monthly car payments and the monthly insurance payment that goes with it.  I have a student loan, a once-a-year motorcycle insurance payment (which I can't afford this year) and monthly payments on a time-share that, once paid off, will be mine until I die.  This, plus so many other miscellaneous payments, has spread me so thin that I do not even have $10 extra at the end of the day and no savings to speak of.

I haven't been this broke since I was in College where at one point I was so broke that I actually pawned some CD's to buy myself my first real meal in days.  That was 7 years ago.  I am appalled to find myself completely grown up and farther in debt than I was in my College days when I spent $1,000 in one month on booze and cabs.

I thought I learned my lesson. 

Apparently, I'm still learning it.